Countdown
to Christmas with Lars
19 days
and counting
So I woke up this morning with
a dick against my back.
Ordinarily that would've been a
very pleasant way to greet the morning. I’d get one more blow job for the road
then head out to start my day working in the best place in the world—Santa’s
North Pole Workshop. But for some reason I knew that even a blowie wasn’t going
to make my day better. Don’t get me wrong, I like sex. A LOT. I'm a Nordic elf—we’re
always up for sex. I mean check out
all the hot sex in the first three NAUGHTY
NORTH POLE books. There’s candy flavored cum spewing everywhere!
I could blame my poor mood on
all of the responsibilities of Christmas and how hectic it is right now, but the
truth is, the things that always made me happy—sex, work and cookies— aren’t
working anymore.
And I just don’t know what to
do about it.
FYI, I’m Lars, the head of
Santa’s Mail Department. If you check out my story in FUN & GAMES WITH
RUDOLPH you will see why I’ve been on edge and not feeling myself lately. It’s
a bit too personal to share here.
I'm not quite sure why Deanna
Wadsworth named the book that. There's no way in hell I could have fun with a
Rudolph! That’s what we call ugly guys—Rudolphs. It comes from an elf named
Rudolph that abandoned the North Pole. A bit of an urban legend, he tried
breeding reindeer with glowing noses. But that was only successful when it came
to the famous Christmas jingle. Supposedly the real Rudolph also stopped eating
sugar, and everyone knows what
happens to an elf that stops eating sugar. They shrivel up and age! It also
makes them crabby.
Maybe some cookies would
improve my mood. Hmmmm, I might have to hit the kitchens after I sign off.
Enough about me, my best buddy
Jorge asked me to write this blog and report what’s going on at the Workshop,
not complain.
Thanks Kayla for hosting me!
You got a nice blog with some decent hotties on it. Those two at the top of the
page look like a creamcicle guy and a sugar cookie guy I fucked once. Do you
know if they’re elves? Don’t think Santa would like any of us posing for pics
like that. Then again, what Santa don’t know, ain’t gonna hurt him, right?
Unfortunately, I don’t have
much to report other than we are busy, slammed and crazy up here. I had three
trucks loads of ‘Dear Santa’ letters come in and they weren't on the schedule.
And if that wasn't enough, the conveyor belts froze! When that happens it backs
up the whole day and I usually have to end up working late. And elves wonder why
I'm on edge and irritable?
So there's my report Jorge. Nothing
new.
And Jorge, you owe me for
writing this blog. It was sort of
cathartic to bitch even though that's probably not what you wanted, but too bad.
You ask a friend to do you a favor, and you get what you get, buddy.
Oh yeah, and if all of Kayla's readers would like to enter to win the first three NAUGHTY NORTH POLE books and a $20 Amazon gift card in the entry box below, go for it. Best of luck!
Oh yeah, and if all of Kayla's readers would like to enter to win the first three NAUGHTY NORTH POLE books and a $20 Amazon gift card in the entry box below, go for it. Best of luck!
If you are enjoying the
Countdown to Christmas blog series, catch a list of all the dates HERE. This Monday
there will be a new post by the big guy, Santa Claus at Are Cafe.
I also brought along an excerpt
from Deanna Wadsworth's book all about me, FUN & GAMES WITH RUDOLPH. I sure
hope the book ends better than my last few days. And I’m more than curious what
Rudolph has to do with any of it.
~Lars
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FUN&GAMES
WITH RUDOLPH
Naughty
North Pole Book Four
By Deanna
Wadsworth
Blurb:
Lars is the
sarcastic elf who runs Santa’s Mail Department and he follows the dating rule of “no repeats”. But lately he's been
having a romantic textlationship with another elf, via the dating app Elf4Elf.
When his cyber boyfriend goes AWOL after a misunderstanding, Lars realizes too
late that there is more to life than sex, work, and cookies.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asks Lars to personally deliver a gift to
Rudolph—a former reindeer handler who left the North Pole because of a
misunderstanding. Rudolph lives on the secluded Sugar Plum Ridge and the only
way to get there is by sleigh. Lars just can’t get a break!
When a sudden blizzard forces the two elves to hole up in
Rudolph's cabin, will they find a way to make their own fun and games or will
one surprise ruin it all?
One thing is certain: after this night, they both will believe in
the magic of the Naughty North Pole!
Excerpt:
“What were you thinking?” my rescuer growled as he put his
sword away. “These damn sleigh bells are like painting a big target on your
back that says ‘come eat me.’”
His crusty demeanor and bad temper irked me. “Well, how in
the name of Christmas was I supposed to know that I would get attacked by a
yeti?”
“Never mind,” he said with a surly grunt. “Get over here.”
Tamping down my frustrated tears—I’d almost been killed and
this guy was scolding me like I was a wayward child—I joined him, having no
idea how he intended to free the animals when they were thrashing about,
tangling themselves even worse.
The warrior removed his gloves. To my shock, his hands
appeared normal, no claws or magic sparks or anything. Without fear of the
beasts or their projectile antlers, he placed one hand on each reindeer,
whispering words I didn’t understand. The soothing melody of them made me think
he might be speaking the ancient language of the Elven races, but I had no idea
what he said.
Instantly, the beasts calmed.
I stared in shock, my adrenaline still pumping. “How did
you—?”
Eyes that had first appeared to be glowing stared out from
above the balaclava covering his face. Snowflakes sparkled atop heavy lashes
and the slight red in his brown irises indicated he was not a god, but rather a
Dökkálfar.
“No time for explanation, my young elf,” he said. “We have to
get them free.”
Nodding obediently, I agreed to help.
I assisted the best I could, holding the things he told me
to hold while he did all the work. Lula was the first one loose and the second
she realized it, she bolted and ran up the ridge.
“Wait!” I called after her.
“She’ll be fine,” the other elf told me. “Lula knows the way
to my barn. Help me with Betty. She looks hurt.”
“Lula poked her with an antler.”
“Doesn’t surprise me with that one. Lula’s a real pistol.” I
could hear the smile in his voice and, when it wasn’t yelling at me, it was a
very pleasant, youthful sound, one that soothed me as much as it had the
beasts. Though a dead yeti lay mere feet from me, I suddenly felt safe and
protected beside this elf.
“Well, Betty,” he said to the reindeer. “Let’s see if ol’
Lula got you for real this time, or if you’re fit enough to walk.”
Thankfully, once he released the harnesses, she was able to
stand. After he ran his big hands over her withers and legs, he buried his face
against hers, whispering more of those ancient words. She huffed a few frosty
breaths and tossed her head, as if nodding.
“What’s your name, elf?” he asked me.
“Lars.”
“Well, Lars, what say you and I let Betty carry us out of
this place before any more yetis show up?”
“Sure,” I said, letting out a whoosh of breath. Curious, I
stared at the big, fur-covered elf but already had my suspicions about the
answer. “Who are you?”
“Name’s Rudolph.”
Deanna
Wadsworth might be a bestselling erotica author, but she leads a pretty vanilla
life in Ohio with her wonderful husband and a couple adorable cocker spaniels.
She has been spinning tales and penning stories since childhood, and her first
erotic novella was published in 2010. When she isn’t writing books or
brainstorming with friends, you can find her making people gorgeous in a beauty
salon. She loves music and dancing, and can often be seen hanging out on the
sandbar in the muddy Maumee River or chilling with her hubby and a cocktail in
their basement bar. In between all that fun, Deanna cherishes the quiet times
when she can let her wildly active imagination have the full run of her mind.
Her fascination with people and the interworkings of their relationships have
always inspired her to write romance with spice and love without boundaries.
