Monday, August 1, 2011

Guest Blogger Deanna Wadsworth: Increasing Dialog in Your Manuscript

First, I would like to thank Kayla for inviting me today! I'm really excited to be talking about my favorite thing today...TALKING!

As evidenced by bestselling authors like James Patterson, a writer can almost never have too much dialog to please the readers out there. But this can prove difficult if you are a descriptive writer whose greatest talent is lyrical prose or sometimes if you write erotica.

Dialog is what draws the reader into the moment, making them feel like a part of the action. I have a few helpful tips today which you might want to give a try if you would like to spice up your book with more chatter.

1. I like to print my book when I am finished then go through and highlight with markers all the different types of sentences so I have the best flow possible. Sounds crazy, I know, but basically I pick a color to highlight dialog, description, action sentences, etc. For the whole article on this technique, EDITING WITH COLOR stop by HERE http://www.mvrwa.net/2011/04/editing-with-color.html

What this does is help me identify long periods of description and inner monologue which might be better served as dialog. You can also just highlight the lines on your computer but I like to get high on the marker fumes, LOL!

2. Once you have identified the spots in your story which could use some dialog try to take some of the character's monologue and make them say it. You might love how your characters surprise you.

Example:

John entered the kitchen, surprised at how sexy David looked standing by the window in faded jeans and their old college alumni sweatshirt. He hadn't seen that ratty old garment in ages.
David turned and John could tell depression held David in its grip by the slump of his shoulders and the forced smile. The funeral of their old teammate had taken its toll.

John entered the kitchen, surprised at how sexy David looked standing by the window in faded jeans and their old college alumni sweatshirt. "I haven't seen that ratty old sweatshirt in ages."
David turned. "It was Kevin's."
"Oh," he said, surprised.
"I wear it every day," David confessed, his shoulders slumped, his smile forced.
John hadn't realized how tight depression held David in its grip. The funeral of their old teammate had taken its toll. 


Just a subtle change, but do you see how I took what John was thinking and made him say it instead? I had to tweak the lines but it opened the door for David to confess he was wearing their friends shirt, and John to be concerned. Now the reader wants to know what John is going to do to help his friend. The reader feels bad for poor David now.

I say John should give David a nice blow job with lots of "Oh baby, suck it harder," because after all this is a blog about dialog. LOL!

3. Another way to add dialog is to take those italic thoughts and make your character just say it. They might get into trouble, but it could be fun.

Example:

Jake and Mike had arrived at the party together and Phillip wished he could crawl into a hole and die. But there was no hole to hide in when his ex-partner and new younger, thinner, sexier lover saw him and headed in his direction.
"Hey, Phil," Jake said, his smile perfect—as usual.
"Hey," he said, throat tight. He glanced at Mike and added mentally, You boyfriend snatching asshole, but all he said was, "Hi, Mike."


Jake and Mike had arrived at the party together and Phillip wished he could crawl into a hole and die. But there was no hole to hide in when his ex-partner and new younger, thinner, sexier lover saw him and headed in his direction.
"Hey, Phil," Jake said, his smile perfect, as usual.
"Hey," he said, throat tight. He glanced at Mike. "Hi, boyfriend snatching asshole."
Oh shit, did he just say that out loud?


Reader is now laughing and embarrassed for poor Phillip and also instantly invested in this scene, just by use of dialog.

Well, I hope these few tips can help you out. Dialog is so important to suck the reader into your protagonist's point of view and a vital part of what readers expect.

Thank you Kayla for having me, and thank all of you for stopping by.

You can find me online at Facebook

As a thank you for stopping by, I am offering a digital copy of my latest book BEAR IT ALL to one lucky commenter.

 BEAR IT ALL

Travis hired the 1 Night Stand agency because he wanted a hot encounter with his dream man...a sexy older, hairy man and John looks custom made to order.

John, after losing his partner three years ago, is looking to learn how to accept another man into his bed again, to learn to live again. He thinks a one night stand in the Caribbean is the answer. But when John sees the young, thin and much smaller Travis he thinks the agency sent the wrong man.

Will Travis get his bear after all?
Will John open his heart to the unexpected?



BEAR IT ALL— cumming August 2nd from Decadent Publishing http://decadentpublishing.com

17 comments:

  1. Dialog is such a useful tool! Especially turning inner dialog into "outer" dialog. I see that so often, and I just think "why don't they just say that?"

    And otherwise...Bears. Yes. That. Now! LOL :-P

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  2. Thank you for joining us today, DC.

    Keep on track here... Dialog - this is about dialog. You can drool over Deanna's nice bear later, especially if you win the book.

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  3. Thank you for blogging here with me today about a problem that I've had. I suspect I'm not the only one out there who benefited greatly from your gift of gab.

    Yummy! A Travis story... Gonna have to get my hands on that one when it comes out.

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  4. Great post, Deanna! And on such an important topic, too. I've been guilty of not enough dialogue at times. Then there are others when it seems I go overboard to the point where you might lose track of who's talking.

    Thanks for the suggestions!

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  5. Hi guys! Thanks so much for stopping by.

    DC, I feel the same about a great paragraph where the writer says..."And they talked into the wee hours of the night." and the book is short and I'm like, and what DID they talk about?"

    Johnny, those two page long dialog only pages are tricky sometimes. In those instances my highlighting technique helps me because I;ll take a monologue or descriptive paragraph from before or after that talking scene and steal some of the lines and sprinkle it in with the dialog.

    Good luck both on the drawing!

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  6. Kayla, thank you so much for having me here today! I can't wait to have you over at my cyber bar! (((hugs)))

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  7. Exactly. Or, when the book says "Character thought character was hot, and he told him so." Um...can't he just tell him so?

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  8. LOL DC!! So annoying! Its not as bad as books that don't give you any sex. They just skip the whole thing and then say... "And afterward...."
    I HATE 'And Afterward!!!

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  9. Deanna, thanks for sharing your advice on dialog! LOL, I haven't read an "an afterword" book in a while and don't plan to!

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  10. I hate the good old "fade to black!" I want all the salacious details.
    But that's just me!

    Thanks to everyone for dropping by today. I wonder who the lucky winner will be?

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  11. Deanna - great advice! I find myself describing quite a bit, and going back in edits to add more dialog. I like your examples as well, very good to show how well dialog can help a scene. Thanks for posting! Love that bear on the cover. Woof.

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  12. not just great advice, incredibly smart advice! I'm sorry I seem to have missed all the fun! Can't wait to read the bears!!!!

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  13. Totally hate 'fade to black,' Kayla!
    I will be drawing the winner tonight!

    @ Hank- i am the opposite. I write all the dialog and then have to go back and write the description. In my first drafts I'm even guilty of skipping the sex and writing something like "Dry humps him against the wall, then they do it on the floor and knock over a plant"
    LOL

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  14. Congrats DC!!!!! You are the lucky winner of BEAR IT ALL!!!

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  15. Congratulations DC. You're in for a great read.

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