Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Hop Against Homophobia

Back in the early 80's when I went to college, I had a close friend, Mike, who I hung out with every weekend and most evenings. We always hit the parties and danced all night. But at the end of our sophomore year, we both transferred to different schools. I because I needed a less expensive school. And he because the college asked him to leave.

Mike was pissed off about it. I was there for him, but he made it clear that he didn't want to discuss it.

Years have passed and one day I stumbled across his FB wall. We said hi, but it had been decades so we left it at that. I did however take a look at his info. I think I now know why he was so pissed off.

Mike is gay. I had no idea at the time. In fact, I was a young naive country girl so I would have never thought to wonder if anyone was gay. Now I think I might have figured it out, but who knows? Mike was my friend and that was good enough for me.

I think he was asked to leave the college because he was gay. It was a very small private college and I think the "right people" had been made aware of his sexuality. If I had known, I would have been pissed off too.

I guess I just don't understand what the big deal is. I don't get the fascination some people have with what's going on in someone else's bedroom. What does it matter? It's no one's business what others do as long as it isn't causing harm.

Gay individuals aren't trying to peek into my bedroom, so I think it's only right that I return the favor. It's the good old Golden Rule. And the world would be such a better place if they still taught that concept in school.

For more links go to the Hop Against Homophobia page: http://hopagainsthomophobia.blogspot.com/

For a chance to win an ebook copy of Alexios' Fate, please comment below with your email address.

57 comments:

  1. Hey Kayla - I love your story and love your honesty and love your respect for other people. I wish Mike could have felt the freedom to share more of himself with you but I understand. I have been in his situation of having very close female friends who I should have been able to be open with.

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  2. Dang that was harsh and I don' understand how someone felt they have a right to kick someone out of anywhere because of their sexual orientation. I wonder if they told him why or made up something? I hope he's doing better today.

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  3. Very touching post. Thanks for taking part in the hop :)

    kimberlyFDR@yahoo.com

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  4. Thank you for the post and I sincerely hope that Mike found what he was looking for. Thank you for all you do.
    Yvette
    yratpatrol@aol.com

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  5. thats just sad and ignorant im sorry for ur friend People should give up with the negativity and embrace the differences maybe someday cause it really isnt any ones business what someones sexual preference is or who they love ur a new to me author deff me checkin out ur free reads and such tyfor the chance

    mortalsinn(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  6. There's a famous quote from Prime Minister Trudeau in the 60s that says that "the state has no place in the bedrooms of the nation". I thought it resonated with your last paragraph... What's happening between to consentent adult shouldn't be judge by others.

    contact at mchoule dot com

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  7. I'm amazed at the stories I am reading during this hop. Thanks for sharing yours (and Mike's).

    andreagrendahl AT gmail DOT com

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  8. Thanks to everyone for taking part in this hop.

    Mike is doing great. He's happy and life has taken him where he needed to go. I must admit that I miss him and wish we could have been friends longer.

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  9. Such interesting stories on these blogs. Thanks!

    gisu29@gmail.com

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  10. Thanks for your story. I'm glad to hear Mike is doing well.

    morris.crissy@gmail.com

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  11. wow...just wow! I'm glad to hear Mike is doing well :)

    raynman1979 at yahoo dot com

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  12. Thank you for sharing
    musings-of-a-bookworm@hotmail.co.uk

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  13. Good morning, I wanted to say how much I admire you for banding together with so many authors for such a worthy cause. Good luck in your endeavors.

    Missy Martine
    missymartine@comcast.net
    www.missymartine.com

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  14. Thanks for sharing the story. Shocking to hear that they could get through with kicking him out of college.

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  15. Thanks for sharing, that really sucks if Mike did get kicked out of school for being gay. I'm glad to hear he is doing great hopefully you guys can become friends again!

    ineedtoread76 [at] gmail.com

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    Replies
    1. I also wanted to say that I LOVE your Hot Guyz slideshow!

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  16. Thank you for sharing your story.

    yinyang1062 at yahoo dot com

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  17. Thanks for the great post! Joyfullyjay @ gmail dot com

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  18. I will second the kudos for the Hot Guyz slideshow. Thank you for sharing your story and for taking part in the blog hop. :)

    Juliebites@gmail.com

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  19. Thank you for sharing that story. : )

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  20. Thanks for sharing!

    madison1729@gmail.com

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  21. Sadly I think this still happens. I'm intrigued that quite a few posts are similar - gay friend as a young person and awareness raised. thanks for sharing

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  22. Thanks for sharinyour story.
    pantsoffreviews@livedotca

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  23. Thank you for this, Kayla. It's a story that I'm certain is familiar to many folks, and although many of us wish we could have been better informed in our youths, we now have the knowledge to help others, so that they might have better experiences.

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  24. We were way over protected by our parents in our youth to the point that when I enter middle school I had never even heard the word gay. I had no idea what it was until y late teens. Now, I'm the protector mom. I try and protect my LGBT children (adults now). I also have quite a few eChildren (young adults) who have adopted me as their eMom. These are boy who in some way or another do not feel loved at home or their parents can't understand why their son's are the way they are. If only they would just sit down and listen to their children and understand that that boy/girl is the exact same person they were before they came out, what a wonderful world this would be... Live and Let Love!!

    Sandra Rush
    taina1959@yahoo.com
    http://enchantedrosegarden.blogspot.com

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  25. Thanks for sharing! I can't believe that would actually happen, then again it was back in the 80's. . .now i know for example my college accepts everyone whether or gay or straight.

    red_tigergirl2(at)hotmail(dot)com

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  26. I cannot believe that something like that could really happen. It's just so shocking! To be asked to leave college.... Wow. The nerve of some people. Just wow.

    ashley.vanburen[at]gmail[dot]com

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  27. What a horrible thing to have happen to you! That's terrible! I'd be more than pissed off, I'd be fucking enraged, LOL. Hopefully Mike has a wonderful life now and has been able to leave the hurt in the past behind. It sounds like you're a good friend!

    cole[dot]riann[at]gmail[dot]com

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  28. I met my first open gay guy at uni. He shared a room with some my guy friends and was even having his boyfriend overnight from time to time. It was an eye-opening and mind-broadening experience.

    0401romance(at)gmail(dot)com

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  29. The sad thing is this has been going on for far too long. I don't understand why certain people are so threatened by LGBT people. I hope we won't be having this conversation in ten years.

    geishasmom73 AT yahoo DOT com

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  30. I'm sorry for him. I wish that didn't happen but sadly it does.

    SheriV
    smurfettev@gmail.com

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  31. That's so, so sad :/ I hope he's had a great life since.

    Erica

    eripike at gmail dot com

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  32. Thanks for sharing. It is sad that things like this happen, but that's why this hop is important, sharing our stories help get the message out that we are all human.
    Andy
    andy@amburns.com

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  33. I'd be willing to bet that it was a small "religious" college. I truly believe God should smite them all for being such smallminded meanspirited people in the name of religion.

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    Replies
    1. No, it was not. It was a small private secular college. Contrary to PC misconceptions, conservatives do not have a monopoly on such behavior. As has been prooven time and again.

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  34. Kayla, I concur. I'm sorry your friend got treated so shabbily, and I really want my daughter to live in a world where that kind of crap is more and more a thing of the past.

    eh, you can reach me at cherienoel@yahoo.com

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  35. Until the day I die I will never understand the mentality of people who believe it is their right to judge someones sexuality? Your absolutely right about no one looking into their bedroom or lives, but they sure as hell are under the mistaken idea that they have the right to do so. I get so tired the the religious groups who continue bash, hate and harm our LGBT community and they need a wake up call to just get over their hate and ignorance.
    Thank you for sharing about your friend, and perhaps one day that friendship can be renewed.
    Thank you for being a part of this wonderful thing. *S*

    Darcy
    pommawolf @hotmail.com

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  36. Very well said. No one has the right to tell another how or what to feel or think.

    sionedkla@gmail.com

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  37. I hope your friend Mike feels loved now. Thank you for sharing your story.
    Bella
    BellaLeone4 at gmail dot com
    www.bellaleonebooks.com

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  38. Thank you for sharing this story - I feel pissed of Mike's behalf as well. Thank you for participating in this hop.

    normanielsen@bigpond.com

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  39. Thanks for participating in the hop. This is a great cause that I pray one day will not be needed.

    forettarose@yahoo.com

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  40. "What does it matter?"

    I really don't know! Why should I care what somebody is doing in his bed??? as long as it isn't with a minor I JUST DON'T CARE!

    marinaroumpi at gmail dot com

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  41. Thanks for participating in the hop

    ninajanke at gmail dot com

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  42. I can't believe something like that would matter to a college. You're right people shouldn't care whats going on in someone else's bedroom. Thank you for sharing with us

    burchills@gmail.com

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  43. I'm so with you, with the sentiment "they're not peering into my bedroom seeing who I sleep with, so why should I care who anyone else sleeps with..." And maybe some day, no one will care, as long as all parties involved are consenting adults.

    ~Helen
    thylacine.yawn@gmail.com

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  44. Thank u for sharing your story...

    Sarah S

    Sarah7836(at)gmail(dot)com

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  45. I totally agree with your opinion. If people could just live and let live when it comes to who an individual chooses to love the world would be a much better place.

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  46. Thanks for sharing your experience and participating in the hop!

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  47. Thanks for participating in this great blog hop. I'm enjoying all the posts :)

    penumbrareads(at)gmail(dot)com

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  48. thanks for sharing! I so can see why Mike was pissed too...it's so frustrating! Love is Love is all I can really say....why can't people just accept?! Thanks again!
    Christy
    allstarjumperstx2(at)gmail(dot)com

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  49. Great post - thanks for sharing.

    suefitz1(at)gmail(dot)com

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  50. I'm sure that Mike would be pleased to know that so many people wish him well. I know I am.

    The thrust of this post is mutual respect. It is possible to have conflicting opinions without mud slinging.

    Unbiased debate is impossible and a phrase that one group uses to brow beat the opposing view point. Why do I say it's impossible? Because everyone has an opinion and is thus biased. There is nothing wrong with this as long as everyone behaves like adults. Bias without bigotry.

    As long as either side refuses to extend respect to the other, nothing will be achieved. The mud slinging and vilification on both sides has to stop.

    Once again, I remind everyone of the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done to you. Just that one concept could change the world for the better.

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  51. Thanks for the post, the hop is great.

    peggy1984 (at) live (dot) com

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  52. I'l never understand what the big deal is either. My first introduction to homosexuality was in high school in 1966 when my best friend told me she was in love with another woman. Gay rights were practically unheard of, but as much as I didn't understand how she could feel that way, I did understand that she was my friend and I loved her no matter what anyone said, especially my boy friend who was totally freaked out. She and I are still friends to this day.

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  53. That is such a sad story. I agree with you, I dont understand why people care so much about what other people do in the bedroom, if it isn't hurting anyone why bother them. Lillywriting(at)gmail(dot)com :)

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  54. I'm glad so many people participated in the hop. Lots of good posts and comments.

    Congratulations to Cole on winning the copy of Alexios' Fate.

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