Showing posts with label dialog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dialog. Show all posts

Monday, August 1, 2011

Guest Blogger Deanna Wadsworth: Increasing Dialog in Your Manuscript

First, I would like to thank Kayla for inviting me today! I'm really excited to be talking about my favorite thing today...TALKING!

As evidenced by bestselling authors like James Patterson, a writer can almost never have too much dialog to please the readers out there. But this can prove difficult if you are a descriptive writer whose greatest talent is lyrical prose or sometimes if you write erotica.

Dialog is what draws the reader into the moment, making them feel like a part of the action. I have a few helpful tips today which you might want to give a try if you would like to spice up your book with more chatter.

1. I like to print my book when I am finished then go through and highlight with markers all the different types of sentences so I have the best flow possible. Sounds crazy, I know, but basically I pick a color to highlight dialog, description, action sentences, etc. For the whole article on this technique, EDITING WITH COLOR stop by HERE http://www.mvrwa.net/2011/04/editing-with-color.html

What this does is help me identify long periods of description and inner monologue which might be better served as dialog. You can also just highlight the lines on your computer but I like to get high on the marker fumes, LOL!

2. Once you have identified the spots in your story which could use some dialog try to take some of the character's monologue and make them say it. You might love how your characters surprise you.

Example:

John entered the kitchen, surprised at how sexy David looked standing by the window in faded jeans and their old college alumni sweatshirt. He hadn't seen that ratty old garment in ages.
David turned and John could tell depression held David in its grip by the slump of his shoulders and the forced smile. The funeral of their old teammate had taken its toll.

John entered the kitchen, surprised at how sexy David looked standing by the window in faded jeans and their old college alumni sweatshirt. "I haven't seen that ratty old sweatshirt in ages."
David turned. "It was Kevin's."
"Oh," he said, surprised.
"I wear it every day," David confessed, his shoulders slumped, his smile forced.
John hadn't realized how tight depression held David in its grip. The funeral of their old teammate had taken its toll. 


Just a subtle change, but do you see how I took what John was thinking and made him say it instead? I had to tweak the lines but it opened the door for David to confess he was wearing their friends shirt, and John to be concerned. Now the reader wants to know what John is going to do to help his friend. The reader feels bad for poor David now.

I say John should give David a nice blow job with lots of "Oh baby, suck it harder," because after all this is a blog about dialog. LOL!

3. Another way to add dialog is to take those italic thoughts and make your character just say it. They might get into trouble, but it could be fun.

Example:

Jake and Mike had arrived at the party together and Phillip wished he could crawl into a hole and die. But there was no hole to hide in when his ex-partner and new younger, thinner, sexier lover saw him and headed in his direction.
"Hey, Phil," Jake said, his smile perfect—as usual.
"Hey," he said, throat tight. He glanced at Mike and added mentally, You boyfriend snatching asshole, but all he said was, "Hi, Mike."


Jake and Mike had arrived at the party together and Phillip wished he could crawl into a hole and die. But there was no hole to hide in when his ex-partner and new younger, thinner, sexier lover saw him and headed in his direction.
"Hey, Phil," Jake said, his smile perfect, as usual.
"Hey," he said, throat tight. He glanced at Mike. "Hi, boyfriend snatching asshole."
Oh shit, did he just say that out loud?


Reader is now laughing and embarrassed for poor Phillip and also instantly invested in this scene, just by use of dialog.

Well, I hope these few tips can help you out. Dialog is so important to suck the reader into your protagonist's point of view and a vital part of what readers expect.

Thank you Kayla for having me, and thank all of you for stopping by.

You can find me online at Facebook

As a thank you for stopping by, I am offering a digital copy of my latest book BEAR IT ALL to one lucky commenter.

 BEAR IT ALL

Travis hired the 1 Night Stand agency because he wanted a hot encounter with his dream man...a sexy older, hairy man and John looks custom made to order.

John, after losing his partner three years ago, is looking to learn how to accept another man into his bed again, to learn to live again. He thinks a one night stand in the Caribbean is the answer. But when John sees the young, thin and much smaller Travis he thinks the agency sent the wrong man.

Will Travis get his bear after all?
Will John open his heart to the unexpected?



BEAR IT ALL— cumming August 2nd from Decadent Publishing http://decadentpublishing.com

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Engaging Dialog

When I set out to write Alexios' story, I had a grand vision. He would be a prince who found himself in the predicament in the photo to the left. Not only did I have to find a way to get him bound to that rock, but I would have to come up with a way to rescue him because I hate leaving one of my heroes in a lurch.

Getting him literally between a rock and a hard place was relatively easy. Andromeda found herself in that very dilemma when her mother bragged that Andromeda was more beautiful that a local sea god's children. So it was easy enough to draw the parallel and have Alexios' father make a similar statement about his son and one of Apollo's sons.

Of course, Apollo couldn't let such hubris (overweening pride) stand and Alexios found himself bound to a rock waiting to meet his end. There is quite a bit more to the story than that, but that is the basic premise "Alexios' Fate" is built on.

I finished up my story at about 20,000 words and was rather pleased with myself. It was my longest finished piece yet and there was more set up than is usual with my short stories. Best of all, my voice/style had improved dramatically while writing it.

Reading back over my story, I discovered that it needed more dialog and I wasn't sure how I was going to get more in there. I made a comment to a couple of friends about that concern and Deanna Wadsworth offered to read over Alexios' tale with an eye to fixing that.

And boy, did she! She suggested all kinds of places for me to add dialog. I took almost all of her suggestions and loved what they did for my story. End of second draft had me at 29,000. Lots of dialog and the whole thing flowed so much better.

Further suggestions about getting to know one of the other characters better and adding more of a sense of the mythos have been incorporated. It will feel like reading a modern myth, like Homer has come forward nearly three millennia.

"Alexios' Fate" is now up to 36,000 and I have dubbed Deanna, the queen of gab, because she knows how to use it to good advantage in advancing a story and drawing the reader in. I hope to continue to put what I have learned at her feet to good use.