Kayla Jameth: Countdown to Christmas with Lars and Deanna Wadsworth

Countdown to Christmas with Lars

19 days and counting

So I woke up this morning with a dick against my back.

Ordinarily that would've been a very pleasant way to greet the morning. I’d get one more blow job for the road then head out to start my day working in the best place in the world—Santa’s North Pole Workshop. But for some reason I knew that even a blowie wasn’t going to make my day better. Don’t get me wrong, I like sex. A LOT. I'm a Nordic elf—we’re always up for sex. I mean check out all the hot sex in the first three NAUGHTY NORTH POLE books. There’s candy flavored cum spewing everywhere!

I could blame my poor mood on all of the responsibilities of Christmas and how hectic it is right now, but the truth is, the things that always made me happy—sex, work and cookies— aren’t working anymore.

And I just don’t know what to do about it.

FYI, I’m Lars, the head of Santa’s Mail Department. If you check out my story in FUN & GAMES WITH RUDOLPH you will see why I’ve been on edge and not feeling myself lately. It’s a bit too personal to share here.

I'm not quite sure why Deanna Wadsworth named the book that. There's no way in hell I could have fun with a Rudolph! That’s what we call ugly guys—Rudolphs. It comes from an elf named Rudolph that abandoned the North Pole. A bit of an urban legend, he tried breeding reindeer with glowing noses. But that was only successful when it came to the famous Christmas jingle. Supposedly the real Rudolph also stopped eating sugar, and everyone knows what happens to an elf that stops eating sugar. They shrivel up and age! It also makes them crabby.

Maybe some cookies would improve my mood. Hmmmm, I might have to hit the kitchens after I sign off.

Enough about me, my best buddy Jorge asked me to write this blog and report what’s going on at the Workshop, not complain.

Thanks Kayla for hosting me! You got a nice blog with some decent hotties on it. Those two at the top of the page look like a creamcicle guy and a sugar cookie guy I fucked once. Do you know if they’re elves? Don’t think Santa would like any of us posing for pics like that. Then again, what Santa don’t know, ain’t gonna hurt him, right?

Unfortunately, I don’t have much to report other than we are busy, slammed and crazy up here. I had three trucks loads of ‘Dear Santa’ letters come in and they weren't on the schedule. And if that wasn't enough, the conveyor belts froze! When that happens it backs up the whole day and I usually have to end up working late. And elves wonder why I'm on edge and irritable?

So there's my report Jorge. Nothing new.

And Jorge, you owe me for writing this blog. It was sort of cathartic to bitch even though that's probably not what you wanted, but too bad. You ask a friend to do you a favor, and you get what you get, buddy.

Oh yeah, and if all of Kayla's readers would like to enter to win the first three NAUGHTY NORTH POLE books and a $20 Amazon gift card in the entry box below, go for it. Best of luck!

If you are enjoying the Countdown to Christmas blog series, catch a list of all the dates HERE. This Monday there will be a new post by the big guy, Santa Claus at Are Cafe.

I also brought along an excerpt from Deanna Wadsworth's book all about me, FUN & GAMES WITH RUDOLPH. I sure hope the book ends better than my last few days. And I’m more than curious what Rudolph has to do with any of it.

~Lars

<a id="rc-e33c450" class="rafl" href="http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/e33c450/" rel="nofollow">a Rafflecopter giveaway</a>

FUN&GAMES WITH RUDOLPH

Naughty North Pole Book Four

By Deanna Wadsworth

Blurb:

Lars is the sarcastic elf who runs Santa’s Mail Department and he follows the dating rule of “no repeats”. But lately he's been having a romantic textlationship with another elf, via the dating app Elf4Elf. When his cyber boyfriend goes AWOL after a misunderstanding, Lars realizes too late that there is more to life than sex, work, and cookies.

On Christmas Eve, Santa asks Lars to personally deliver a gift to Rudolph—a former reindeer handler who left the North Pole because of a misunderstanding. Rudolph lives on the secluded Sugar Plum Ridge and the only way to get there is by sleigh. Lars just can’t get a break!

When a sudden blizzard forces the two elves to hole up in Rudolph's cabin, will they find a way to make their own fun and games or will one surprise ruin it all?

One thing is certain: after this night, they both will believe in the magic of the Naughty North Pole!

Excerpt:

“What were you thinking?” my rescuer growled as he put his sword away. “These damn sleigh bells are like painting a big target on your back that says ‘come eat me.’”

His crusty demeanor and bad temper irked me. “Well, how in the name of Christmas was I supposed to know that I would get attacked by a yeti?”

“Never mind,” he said with a surly grunt. “Get over here.”

Tamping down my frustrated tears—I’d almost been killed and this guy was scolding me like I was a wayward child—I joined him, having no idea how he intended to free the animals when they were thrashing about, tangling themselves even worse.

The warrior removed his gloves. To my shock, his hands appeared normal, no claws or magic sparks or anything. Without fear of the beasts or their projectile antlers, he placed one hand on each reindeer, whispering words I didn’t understand. The soothing melody of them made me think he might be speaking the ancient language of the Elven races, but I had no idea what he said.

Instantly, the beasts calmed.

I stared in shock, my adrenaline still pumping. “How did you—?”

Eyes that had first appeared to be glowing stared out from above the balaclava covering his face. Snowflakes sparkled atop heavy lashes and the slight red in his brown irises indicated he was not a god, but rather a Dökkálfar.

“No time for explanation, my young elf,” he said. “We have to get them free.”

Nodding obediently, I agreed to help.

I assisted the best I could, holding the things he told me to hold while he did all the work. Lula was the first one loose and the second she realized it, she bolted and ran up the ridge.

“Wait!” I called after her.

“She’ll be fine,” the other elf told me. “Lula knows the way to my barn. Help me with Betty. She looks hurt.”

“Lula poked her with an antler.”

“Doesn’t surprise me with that one. Lula’s a real pistol.” I could hear the smile in his voice and, when it wasn’t yelling at me, it was a very pleasant, youthful sound, one that soothed me as much as it had the beasts. Though a dead yeti lay mere feet from me, I suddenly felt safe and protected beside this elf.

“Well, Betty,” he said to the reindeer. “Let’s see if ol’ Lula got you for real this time, or if you’re fit enough to walk.”

Thankfully, once he released the harnesses, she was able to stand. After he ran his big hands over her withers and legs, he buried his face against hers, whispering more of those ancient words. She huffed a few frosty breaths and tossed her head, as if nodding.

“What’s your name, elf?” he asked me.

“Lars.”

“Well, Lars, what say you and I let Betty carry us out of this place before any more yetis show up?”

“Sure,” I said, letting out a whoosh of breath. Curious, I stared at the big, fur-covered elf but already had my suspicions about the answer. “Who are you?”

“Name’s Rudolph.”

Deanna Wadsworth might be a bestselling erotica author, but she leads a pretty vanilla life in Ohio with her wonderful husband and a couple adorable cocker spaniels. She has been spinning tales and penning stories since childhood, and her first erotic novella was published in 2010. When she isn’t writing books or brainstorming with friends, you can find her making people gorgeous in a beauty salon. She loves music and dancing, and can often be seen hanging out on the sandbar in the muddy Maumee River or chilling with her hubby and a cocktail in their basement bar. In between all that fun, Deanna cherishes the quiet times when she can let her wildly active imagination have the full run of her mind. Her fascination with people and the interworkings of their relationships have always inspired her to write romance with spice and love without boundaries.

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Buy Deanna’s books at Dreamspinner Press, Decadent Publishing or at any reputable eBook seller