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Deanna Wadsworth delivers another one of her quirky Naughty North Pole stories. A mix of traditional, contemporary and fairy tale/fantasy elements that is a fun romp through a winter wonderland that is uniquely hers.
Lars is a fun loving elf whose goal in life is to find out what flavor every elf at the North Pole is. Don't know what I mean? Well, let's just say when he's very happy, Lars is peanut butter. And such a busy man never does repeats.
He spends much of his free time chatting with MikeLikes69 on Elf4Elf, an app that elves, being horny little bastards, use for hook ups. Lars surprises himself to find that he'd rather chat than use the app in the pursuit of his life goal.
Lars and Mike have two rules: No strings and No face photos. But other than that anything goes. Sexting, photos and videos of each other in action. However, as often as Lars asks, Mike won't tell him what flavor he is and Lars has never been able to guess.
Then one night caught up in a fantasy they had both built, Lars asks for the equivalent of a face shot. He immediately panics, but Mike doesn't lose a beat, even promises to deliver the next night. And in true skittish masculine behavior, is never seen again.
Being a department head at the North Pole, the last week before Christmas is usually the most wonderful time of the year, but this year Lars could star as Scrooge in the North Pole's production of A Christmas Carol.
Finally, even Santa seems to have had enough and sends him on an errand to deliver a package to Rudolph the cranky old hermit who lives on the frozen backside of BFE. The package must be there by midnight, and since he had to go by ground bourn sleigh, he had to leave before Santa's launch and Ms Santa's sex party.
As time outs went, Santa managed to nail Lars' two favorite events of the year.
Now Lars is stuck out in the cold as a blizzard prepares to make this either a Christmas tragedy or a Christmas miracle.
I love her slightly twisted sense of humor. If you want a bit of angst with your chuckles, this is definitely the story for you.